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The Mirror

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The little planet that is my safe haven
From the person that I have become
It is a New World in itself.

I can see my family from here
Thoughts of my past haunt me when I am there.

Seeing people eat and cry
I searched very hard to find myself
As if I should bother… but I tried.

I found someone who looks like me
She has my face yet there is nothing familiar about her
She has a big smile on her face.

People stare and smile back at her
She keeps smiling even after she falls
Who smiles after falling, this can’t be me.

The Big Move

The Big Move

So it has been a while since I posted. I have been super busy packing and getting my family ready to move to a new city for my new job. I was very worried about this move because I didn’t want to add anymore stress on my kids. Shockingly, my kids have been adjusting better than I anticipated. They are making friends and doing well in school. I love my new job because I am never bored.
The only down side to my new job is the fact that I have to work a regular 9 to 5 kind of schedule. My old job had flexible scheduling and that came in handy when my kids got sick.
I will post some more about all the new and exciting things going once things get calm.
I am actually in the middle of planning a housewarming party. I have never hosted a housewarming party before. I decided to host one this time because this move has helped me to see that I can live on my own without my ex. Life as a single mom is great most of the time but there are days when I kind of miss sharing the responsibilities with my ex.
Speaking of my ex, he has been doing his best to maintain a healthy relationship with our kids and that makes me very happy. I was really concerned that he was going to be one of those dads who only show they care with their money and not with their time. I hope that he keeps on working at being the parent that our children need him to be. Well, I better get going…I have a midterm to take, workout to complete, dishes to clean and a hot bath to help me relax before I go to bed. Thank you for stopping by 🙂

Pictures from last week’s “me date”

Pictures from last week’s “me date”

I pulled out a new dress, a new pair of shoes, pearls, and one of my favorite shawls
DSCN7633

Red grape juice cocktail

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Store bought salad

Salad

Tilapia topped with sautéed scallions, mashed potatoes ( parsnips, carrots and russet potatoes, garnished with black pepper., green beans seasoned with apple cider vinegar and black pepper

DSCN7644

Thank you for stopping by 🙂

Dating Myself

So I decided to do something very strange this past weekend. I say strange because some people might think it is weird and slightly pathetic to see a movie by yourself but that is exactly what I did.
My soon to be ex-husband and I have been separated for about 6 months. To some that should have been plenty of time to heal and move on. I on the other hand, think that it takes more time to heal than some people realize. So instead of jumping from this guy and to that guy, I decided this past weekend to do something slightly odd.
The idea to date myself came up after talking to a gentleman that was trying to get my attention. The gentleman asked about my likes as he was trying to figure out where to take me and I had no idea what my likes were. So that left me thinking that I needed to stop and find myself again. My soon to be ex and I were together for over 10 years and in those 10 years, it seems like our likes and personalities kind of messed. I had gotten so caught up in being the wife, the mom, and the jack of all trade that I somehow lost myself in the midst of it all.
I thought about what I could do to find the parts of me that I lost in my marriage. So, I decided that it would be great to court myself and rediscover parts of my personality that I have been ignoring all these years. It was hard thinking of a first date idea but it all worked out this past weekend. I had made plans to go see a movie with a friend but she canceled on me last minute. So instead of staying in, I got dressed and went out to see a movie by my lonesome and it felt great.
At first it felt strange walking up to the ticket booth and buying just one ticket. I felt really awkward when a couple walked up behind me. I shrugged it off and walked over to the concession stand. I bought some milk duds (I forgot to pack my granola bar in my purse) and I bought a bottle of water. I got to the theatre very early because I didn’t want to do the “walk of shame” in front of all the couples.
I sat there and texted some friends and my Aunt (she is my hero by the way) and told them what I was doing. My Aunt then told me that she took herself on a movie date the previous weekend and that kind of made me feel less pathetic. I had that “this is wonderful” moment during a scene in the movie. The main character was a single woman looking for love. Her “wake up” moment actually helped me to accept the fact that it wasn’t odd or bad to be single.
I have now decided to take myself out on weekly dates. My goal is to not only find myself but to work on appreciating myself as I am. I will try to post updates on how my dates go.

Thank you for stopping by 🙂

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Don't ever change yourself to impress someone, cause they should be impressed that you don't change to please others -- When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, always remember that the teacher is always quiet during a test --- Unknown

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