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Dating Myself

So I decided to do something very strange this past weekend. I say strange because some people might think it is weird and slightly pathetic to see a movie by yourself but that is exactly what I did.
My soon to be ex-husband and I have been separated for about 6 months. To some that should have been plenty of time to heal and move on. I on the other hand, think that it takes more time to heal than some people realize. So instead of jumping from this guy and to that guy, I decided this past weekend to do something slightly odd.
The idea to date myself came up after talking to a gentleman that was trying to get my attention. The gentleman asked about my likes as he was trying to figure out where to take me and I had no idea what my likes were. So that left me thinking that I needed to stop and find myself again. My soon to be ex and I were together for over 10 years and in those 10 years, it seems like our likes and personalities kind of messed. I had gotten so caught up in being the wife, the mom, and the jack of all trade that I somehow lost myself in the midst of it all.
I thought about what I could do to find the parts of me that I lost in my marriage. So, I decided that it would be great to court myself and rediscover parts of my personality that I have been ignoring all these years. It was hard thinking of a first date idea but it all worked out this past weekend. I had made plans to go see a movie with a friend but she canceled on me last minute. So instead of staying in, I got dressed and went out to see a movie by my lonesome and it felt great.
At first it felt strange walking up to the ticket booth and buying just one ticket. I felt really awkward when a couple walked up behind me. I shrugged it off and walked over to the concession stand. I bought some milk duds (I forgot to pack my granola bar in my purse) and I bought a bottle of water. I got to the theatre very early because I didn’t want to do the “walk of shame” in front of all the couples.
I sat there and texted some friends and my Aunt (she is my hero by the way) and told them what I was doing. My Aunt then told me that she took herself on a movie date the previous weekend and that kind of made me feel less pathetic. I had that “this is wonderful” moment during a scene in the movie. The main character was a single woman looking for love. Her “wake up” moment actually helped me to accept the fact that it wasn’t odd or bad to be single.
I have now decided to take myself out on weekly dates. My goal is to not only find myself but to work on appreciating myself as I am. I will try to post updates on how my dates go.

Thank you for stopping by 🙂

About Ballu Lee

I am a mother of three, student, runner, Christian. I also love to read, sew, garden, crochet and watch old black and white movies. My fashion icons are Audrey Hepburn, Sophia Lauren, Lena Horne, Grace Kelly, Dorothy Dandridge, Ginger Rogers and Coco Chanel. I enjoy spending time with my lovebugs, cooking and exploring the outdoors. Running is a passion of mine, has been since I was in grade school.

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