So I decided to do something very strange this past weekend. I say strange because some people might think it is weird and slightly pathetic to see a movie by yourself but that is exactly what I did.
My soon to be ex-husband and I have been separated for about 6 months. To some that should have been plenty of time to heal and move on. I on the other hand, think that it takes more time to heal than some people realize. So instead of jumping from this guy and to that guy, I decided this past weekend to do something slightly odd.
The idea to date myself came up after talking to a gentleman that was trying to get my attention. The gentleman asked about my likes as he was trying to figure out where to take me and I had no idea what my likes were. So that left me thinking that I needed to stop and find myself again. My soon to be ex and I were together for over 10 years and in those 10 years, it seems like our likes and personalities kind of messed. I had gotten so caught up in being the wife, the mom, and the jack of all trade that I somehow lost myself in the midst of it all.
I thought about what I could do to find the parts of me that I lost in my marriage. So, I decided that it would be great to court myself and rediscover parts of my personality that I have been ignoring all these years. It was hard thinking of a first date idea but it all worked out this past weekend. I had made plans to go see a movie with a friend but she canceled on me last minute. So instead of staying in, I got dressed and went out to see a movie by my lonesome and it felt great.
At first it felt strange walking up to the ticket booth and buying just one ticket. I felt really awkward when a couple walked up behind me. I shrugged it off and walked over to the concession stand. I bought some milk duds (I forgot to pack my granola bar in my purse) and I bought a bottle of water. I got to the theatre very early because I didn’t want to do the “walk of shame” in front of all the couples.
I sat there and texted some friends and my Aunt (she is my hero by the way) and told them what I was doing. My Aunt then told me that she took herself on a movie date the previous weekend and that kind of made me feel less pathetic. I had that “this is wonderful” moment during a scene in the movie. The main character was a single woman looking for love. Her “wake up” moment actually helped me to accept the fact that it wasn’t odd or bad to be single.
I have now decided to take myself out on weekly dates. My goal is to not only find myself but to work on appreciating myself as I am. I will try to post updates on how my dates go.
Thank you for stopping by 🙂
Ballu Lee
